Memories In The Wind

Last night as the icy wind blasted past my window panes, memories of my dear gramma visited my soul. I miss her terribly. These roses stand every summer as a memorial to her, but not only of her existence. They remind me of her love and endless kindnesses toward me. I remember her touch, her voice, and the immeasurable mercy she extended to me as I grew.

She suffered from Multiple-Sclerosis. When I was a small child, she was still able to walk. She took my lil brother and I for walks every morning. Since we were so little, and she couldn't move very fast it worked perfectly. The birds seemed to sing sweeter songs, and the air seemed fresher, the sun felt much warmer than it does today.

In the presence of gramma, we were happy, love and cared for. She loved to hear everything we had to say. Nothing in the world was more important to gramma than my baby brother and me. Or so it seemed...

Our childhood away from her was very difficult; we lived for our moments with gramma. She taught me to love, forgive and to succeed in all things. As the years wore on, she lost her ability to walk, yet, she loved all the more. Her focus became sharper and determination, deeper.
regardless of her pain and suffering. She carried a reassuring smile communicating peace and strength.

I asked her one time, "gramma, how come you are always so happy?" She responded, "Could you imagine if I was an old grouchy crab when you came to visit? Would you want to visit me then? I am so happy to see you, you brighten my world!" I continually wondered how I could possibly brighten her world when the reality was, she brightened mine! She WAS my garden.
No matter the turmoil I suffered, once I ran to her, the world was set right. She had an amazing ability to focus me silencing the personal hell raging inside of me. It would be years later, after her death, before I would discover just how much she really did love me and my lil brother.

Sadly, like me, my lil' angel has been given a heavy burden to carry through this life. Her "lil' mommy," as she likes to call her momma, has been dealt a hard hand to handle. We live in a fallen world, in a fallen state. Tragically, they are facing some desperately harsh circumstances. Their fate is to be decided by one who has demonstrated a lack of concern for their safety and well-being.



The door to my heart is always open to my lil' angel, and closed to all who mean her harm.

When my gramma passed away, an imaginary baton was passed from her soul to mine. Along with that came the passing of the guard and the determined strength which has distilled inside of me for a lifetime. I give to my grand daughter now, the love, and the continual presence that my gramma gave to me. My hope is set on Christ and HIS all knowing of the situation.

I cannot change her circumstance, but like my gramma, I can be that calming, loving place for her every time I have the privilege of being with her. As I listened to the wind howling outside last night, all of this came to mind. The mercy I tasted from my gramma, her love, her touch, is all mingled in with her flowers. It is a virtual garden of those things we cannot see with eyes, but we can taste with our souls. God be with us all as we seek to guide the next generation in this dying world.
Gramma loves you my lil Chloe. Remember, God is watching, His ears are open unto our prayers.